In my earlier post, I said my brain was frozen during the summer. But only part of that was true. So let’s move on to the subject of Neurology and the Brain.
As The Nothing Expert, I am qualified to write about the brain because I have one. Now that I have your attention, let me just say that my brain does not work like the brain of a millennial. I cannot multi-task. I’m lucky if I can do one teeny, tiny task at a time, and then for mental reinforcement, I munch on some chips, and dip.
In 1955 in our fourth grade class, I wrote the script for a puppet show, and then I decided that someday I would “Write a Book.”
When I was sixty, I started my book, and it only took me ten years to write it.
Then millions of people told me “Ha. Ha. You cannot publish a book without a platform and billions of followers. Get a platform.”
A platform means followers, billions of followers, even some from outer space.
And so, I put the book away, and decided to seek followers, on Facebook, Twitter, and on this blog.
Along the way I met some very wonderful people and I have enjoyed their blogs, comments, and our shared conversations. I still don’t get Twitter, and I’m past the point of caring how I screw up on Facebook.
But I have not been a good girl this summer. I have failed to write in my blog and I have failed to comment on other people’s blogs. I beg for your forgiveness, if you are one of my followers.
That’s because I have been working on my book, again. You cannot just write “The End,” on your last page and then say “OK World, Come and get It!”
Actually, I have been learning how to publish the book. Now if we break that up into steps, I would say that publishing a book takes about a zillion steps, all of them new for an old broad like me. And I can only concentrate on one step at a time, or I will get frazzled, eat too much, and gain 25 pounds of flesh, in my thighs.
So, who had time for writing? Not me.
Also, I never mentioned the book because somewhere in the zillions of publishing pointers, there was a warning on “shameless self-promotion.”
So, I am going to try to do the unheard of “Walk and Chew Gum” at the same time. In the coming weeks I am going to work on a few more steps, all at once! Along the way, I will tell you more about the book, but I will try to do it in a way that isn’t shameless self-promotion.
Now where is that butter pecan ice cream? I’m spent.
5 thoughts on “How to Gain Weight and Exercise Your Brain at the Same Time!”
Congratulations! That is awesome and there is nothing shameful about sharing news of achievement! Tell all about it! It is inspiring to all of us still working in the AAA farm system that someone we know has made it to the majors! Cannot wait to hear more!
Thanks so much, colleague!
This piece made me laugh. But, since you were a teacher, Rose, you surely learned to multitask.
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After retiring I write an historical novel. It abides on my computer and a few copies were dispersed to friends who said nice things. That’s as far as the book went.
I’d love to hear more about it, and we can share stories about this crazy publishing business. Get it off your computer, friend!