On the Sidewalks of New York

As The Nothing Expert, I pride myself on doing nothing well. But sometimes doing nothing may be the wrong solution to life’s ethical dilemmas. This is a true story.

On the corner of East 34th. Street and Park Avenue in New York City, a very tired older lady walks to her bus stop. She worries that she might fall and break her hip, so she is careful where she places her feet. Thusly, just as she reaches her bus stop, she narrowly sidesteps a humungous pile of excrement lying in the middle of the sidewalk. The excrement was definitely deposited there by a very large mammal, perhaps an elephant.

The old lady’s bus always comes late, and, so she stands at her bus stop waiting, and watching. She is the only one standing still on the busy sidewalk, near the pile of excrement.

She can tell the tourists because they are all looking up at the Empire State Building and they wear white sneakers. She can tell the regulars because they are not looking up, nor are they looking at the ground.  Most are doing something with their phones which the old lady has never been able to master while walking, or even sitting. Some of the walkers are students from the nearby high schools, who are having fun, shoving, smacking, and smooching with each other. Some of the walkers are shoppers, laden with shopping bags. Some of the walkers are being helped by caregivers. Some of the walkers look mean and angry.

The older woman watches the walkers approaching the pile in the middle of the sidewalk. They do not see it. What is her duty (ahem) to them? Should she help? Or should she turn away? What would you do? What would you say?

What Happened to Howdy Doody Foodie?

Dear Readers and Followers,

I am changing the title of my blog. Here’s why.

It all started when I wanted to write about chocolate mashed potatoes.

Nah! That’s a lie.

I really wanted to write about the day when I was the guardian of a gigantic pile of dog excrement on the busy streets of New York City. That is the real truth.

As the Howdy Doody Foodie, I’ve really enjoyed writing about my passion for getting and eating food. I wrote posts on being a deli man’s daughter, visiting farmers’ markets and peeling onions. I was even able to make a food connection between my fear of flying and gnashing peanuts during an in-flight panic attack. With a blog entitled Howdy Doody Foodie, I planned to reminisce with my contemporaries about our 1950’s childhood food experiences.

My younger friends and family, (under the age of 50), however, did not get the Howdy Doody Foodie title from the get-go. Accordingly, they said things to me like, “How can you put the word “doody” into a blog about a foodie?”

Which brings me back to the chocolate mashed potatoes on the sidewalks of New York City. Somehow, a post connecting a gigantic pile of dog excrement with chocolate mashed potatoes, is a trifle unseemly. That’s why I’m changing the title of my blog.

The great thing about being The Nothing Expert is, now, when I come into intimate contact with a huge pile of “you-know-what” sitting on a busy sidewalk, I can write about the experience without being forced to make it fit in with my beloved food tales.

I hope that many of my new readers, as well as my loyal followers will continue to enjoy my blog. I look forward to hearing your stories about the “chocolate mashed potatoes” we all encounter in our lives.

In my next post, I will explain that experience on the sidewalks of New York, and ask you for your insight.

Deepest regards and thanks to all of you, especially those true Foodies who are moving on. I wish you well.


Rose, The Nothing Expert






My Imaginary Friends

Hello My New Friends,     rose perlmutter

As I get to know you, let me introduce my old friends. They’re imaginary. The first one is Grim Streaker and the second one is Overthinker. They sit in my head and make me crazy.

Grim says, “Elderly girl, start the darn blog! The clock is ticking.”

Overthinker says, “No, Rose, you’re not ready to start. Do another draft, and another, and another. You can’t write a blog! You’re not an expert on anything!”

Grim says, “That’s not true, Rose. You are indeed an expert …on Nothing. Just write about what you love. That’s all that counts.”

“Well, Grim,” I say, “I sure do love food. I love getting it and eating it!”

“Ta da!” Grim says.”Now start the darn blog!”

I say, “I’m writing about food, and then I’m hitting publish. Yikes! Up yours, Overthinker! Whoo-hoo Grim Streaker!”

Welcome everyone to Howdy Doody Foodie!

Rose, The Nothing Expert