Introverts, Phobics, Nature Lovers, and Compulsive Overthinkers

Photo Credit: MeckiMac via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: MeckiMac via Compfight cc

I’m wondering if there is a connection between people who are introverts, phobics, nature lovers and compulsive over-thinkers. I belong to each of these tribes.

Here’s a scenario to illustrate.

I go to the park to exercise. Ha Ha, I lie. I go to the park, but not really to exercise. Mostly I go to the park to walk for a short time, and to sit down on a bench for a long time. I choose a bench by the lake, where I can sit, look, listen, read, write, or just think. If I’m lucky I might be rewarded by the sight of a double-breasted cormorant swallowing a fish. That happened last year, and it was a glorious moment.

On the first warm day this year, the snow has melted, and I decide it’s time to go back to my park.  I take my perfunctory short walk, and I sit down on my favorite bench. Ah, spring is almost here. I fill my senses.

A woman comes strolling down the path, stops at my bench and asks, “Mind if I sit down?”

Like the true wimp I am, I answer, “Go ahead.”

I need solitude and nature like I need food, and this woman has killed it for me.

I dream of making her dead. What would be the best way? I could throw her off a bridge, but that would be very difficult for me because I am afraid of things that are up high in the air, like bridges, and airplanes.

Hmm. I’ll have to think that through. Perhaps I ought to make a plan to plan to plan. I’ve been planning this blog post for a long time, way too long.

I wonder what two of my favorite authors would say.  Scott Stossel wrote  My Age of Anxiety…Fear, Hope, Dread and the Search for Peace of Mind. Susan Cain wrote Quiet…The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. I wonder if they have ever met? I hope so.

I’m on my way to explore a blog I have just discovered when I searched for Stossel and Cain. It’s called “The Dedicated Amateur” and it is written by Amma Marfo. You can find her blog  at: http://ammamarfo.com/.

In the meantime, I will be worrying about something.

Can I Laugh My Way Through Panic Attacks?

Yesterday I watched a wonderful Huff Post Live broadcast called Mental Health: Living With Anxiety. Thanks to the moderator and panelists who shared their experiences with phobias and panic attacks. The link to the program is below this post.

Here in my blog, I have begun to write about my own panic attacks on bridges, planes, mountains, and let’s just say, “anything that goes up, high.”

Here in this blog, I can be real smart. I can invent solutions, laugh and make cracks about heads floating up in the sky when we, panic attackers, are having our out of body experiences.

When I am not here in this blog, I am not so smart.

Let’s take Saturday night when my husband, Jerome the Great and Good, and I were heading to a restaurant in Queens.  He was driving and I was giving directions. Missing the access to the main part of the Queensboro Bridge, he drove on to the lower level. In seconds, we entered a rickety, single, OUTSIDE lane, which was once used as a trolley track. We were there with nothing between us, the East River and the rooftops of Manhattan and Queens, but a teeny-weeny, rusty, ripped up fence.

So, during that time, when I was not here in my blog, I did not say funny things.

I did sweat, hyperventilate, clench, pound, moan and pray.

And, in case you were wondering, I cursed; but I did not use the word “doodyhead” like I do here in my blog. Sometimes, “doodyhead” just doesn’t cut it.

I am fortunate that I will still travel on bridges, planes, even an occasional tram up a mountain. But nine times out of ten, it will be a hellish experience for me.

The thing is I keep living to tell about it.

For that, I say thanks to all those others who have shared their own stories and research. Thanks again to Scott Stossel, author of My Age of Anxiety, one of my favorite books, for tweeting and reminding me of the Huffington Post Live broadcast.

Also, thanks to the wonderful moderator and panelists at Huffington Post Live for their insight. The link to the program is below.

And I will continue to make attempts to look at the light side of all my stuff. Believe me, it would be a heck of a lot easier to write about only the dark side, but what fun would that be?

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/anxiety-in-america/53eaaa3778c90ab003000010